Holiday requests, like Valentine’s Day cards or Mother’s Day brunch, can become battlegrounds if one co-parent goes silent. To avoid last-minute scrambling when your ex-partner doesn’t respond, create a backup plan well in advance. First, establish a shared digital calendar, whether Google Calendar or a dedicated co-parenting app, where both parents list important dates for holidays, birthdays, and school events. When Valentine’s Day approaches, confirm your child’s plans at least two weeks ahead. If your co-parent doesn’t reply within three days of your request, implement a default plan you’ve previously agreed upon, such as alternating years or splitting the day. Communicate this default in writing: “Since I haven’t heard back, I’ll plan to have the kids for Valentine’s Day dinner on February 14.” Use friendly, respectful language: “I know you might be busy, so if I don’t hear from you by [specific date], I’ll move ahead with our agreed backup plan.” Share suggested activities you and the children can enjoy, like making homemade cards, cooking a special dinner, or crafting heart-shaped treats, so the kids feel excited even if one parent is unresponsive. If your co-parent reaches out later, stick to your established agreement: you’ve followed the boundary, and changing plans last minute can confuse the children. Always keep messages brief and businesslike; avoid emotional appeals or blame. If silent treatment patterns persist around holidays, revisit your parenting plan with a mediator or family counsellor to specify clearer protocols for unresponsive co-parents. By prearranging default holiday schedules and communicating them objectively, you ensure your children still enjoy special occasions and avoid unnecessary conflict when one parent disappears from planning.

‍